So, Brad Pitt was spotted wearing a wedding ring. This is,
allegedly, because he finally decided to make an honest woman out of his
philanderer in crime, Angelina Jolie. I don’t know. Is this news? I mean, it
must be because I’m writing about it, but really? They’ve been together since
2005 – and engaged since 2012. They have six kids. They’re practically the same
person. With the possible exception of the eyes of the law – and God – weren’t
they basically seen as already married? I mean, aside from that whole “living
in sin” thing, they were pretty much the picture of wedded bliss.
But, apparently they wanted more, so last Saturday, at their
estate in the south of France, the duo made it official. 1/3 of their children
(Zahara and Vivienne) acted as flower girls; 1/3 of their children (Shiloh and
Knox) acted as ring bearers; and 1/3 of their children (Maddox and Pax) walked
their mom down the aisle. It was a family “affair” to be sure. (Get it? Because
the whole event was the direct result of a torrid love affair.)
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| The wedding party |
Anyway, congrats to the newly legal Jolie-Pitts. I, for one,
appreciate that they didn’t rush into anything (besides baby making). They took
their time. Test drove the merchandise. Decided if three failed marriages
between them was enough or if they wanted to go for lucky number four. Decided
if “Mr.” and “Mrs.” were titles they felt comfortable wearing again – or if
they preferred to stick with the time-honored “adulterer” and “mistress.” These
are all things that take some serious marination.
I also appreciate that they didn’t turn the event into a
media circus (unlike others who shall not be named). These are two of the most
famous people in the world and, yet, their nuptials were a complete surprise (unlike
others who shall not be named). You know what this says to me? Brad and
Angelina are A-listers who are actually famous.
For doing stuff. They’re not infamous C-listers who are famous simply for being
famous (and sex tapes) and, therefore,
don’t appear sad and desperate. They look way classy by comparison. And the fact that nearly
everyone looks classy next to Kimpee and her word-vomiting husband, shouldn’t
detract from this victory at all.
So, once again, we at ATG would like to wish Brangelina and
crew many congratulations. I truly hope that they’re taking some time to just
enjoy the moment, as I'm sure it won't be long before those divorce rumors start circulating.
In fact, I give it about a week.
