So the Oscars happened Sunday night. I totally forgot about them
until I walked into work Monday morning and people were talking, not about the
winners and losers of the actual awards, but instead about the winners and
losers of the fashion wars. Never wanting to miss an opportunity to voice my
opinion/judge people, I used the interweb to quickly brush up on the wardrobe
choices of the evening.
During my “research,” I stumbled across Yahoo’s breakdown of
the best and worst dressed. Not so surprisingly, I disagreed with a large
percentage of it. So I thought it would be fun to play “Best or Worst: You Decide”
and see how your opinions stack up with the “experts” over at Yahoo.
Answers are at the bottom. Don’t cheat.
BEST OR WORST: YOU DECIDE
And here are the answers according to Yahoo (and ATG):
Yahoo says: BEST DRESSED
Yahoo says: BEST DRESSED
Yahoo says: WORST DRESSED
Yahoo says: BEST DRESSED
Yahoo says: BEST DRESSED
And here are the answers according to Yahoo (and ATG):
Lady Gaga in a custom piece by Azzedine Alaia |
ATG says: The dress is okay - I like the sparkle, although the armholes
look a little odd – but the plastic dishwashing gloves have got to go. She looks
like a homicidal Cinderella who took out her stepmother and a sister or two on the
way to the ball.
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Chloe Grace Moretz in Miu Miu |
ATG says: Seriously? Did she have a Sound of Music moment and make her
dress out of drapes? Perhaps she couldn’t stand to have Lady Gaga steal all of
the Sound of Music’s 50th anniversary glory.
********************Gwyneth Paltrow in Ralph & Russo |
ATG says: This dress is by no means spectacular, but it’s easily less aesthetically
offensive than some on the “Best Dressed” list.
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Jessica Chastain in Givenchy Couture |
ATG says: This is a beautiful woman with a beautiful body, but the
dress is ill-fitting and looks slightly too small. Her ensemble certainly isn't
the worst on the list, but when you have so much to work with, it’s a bit of a
shame to look anything short of spectacular.
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Emma Stone in Elie Saab |
Yahoo says: BEST DRESSED
ATG says: I love Emma but this dress is slightly bipolar. The top half
says, “80s wedding chic” (all it’s missing is the shoulder pads); and the
bottom half looks like a Jessica Rabbit castoff. Sometimes dual personalities
are fun; this isn’t one of those times.
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Gina Rodriguez in an "eco-friendly dress" by fashion student Suzy Cameron |
Yahoo says: BEST DRESSED
ATG says: I don’t hate the bottom, it almost looks Grecian-esque, but
the top is awful. It’s too big and poorly constructed. In fact, it looks like I
sewed it myself – and that ain’t a compliment.
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Patricia Arquette in Rosetta Getty |
Yahoo says: BEST DRESSED
ATG says: I actually don’t hate this dress, but I hate it on her. Surely
with all the butt-kissers–slash–stylists that she inevitably has in her life, someone could have come up with a more
flattering option.
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Kelly Osbourne in Rita Vineris |
ATG says: This is a woman who
gets paid to critique other people’s fashion choices. I can’t. I really
just can’t.
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ATG says: No kidding. This was a Worst Dressed pick, allegedly because
of the necklace. What? I hate ScarJo and even I think it’s bogus.
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ATG says: Did she run out of time after her pre-Oscar workout and just
throw a beach cover-up over her sports bra? In case you’re wondering, Yahoo
referred to this look as “stunning” – and they meant it as a compliment.
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David Ovelowo in Dolce & Gabbana |
Yahoo says: BEST DRESSED
ATG says: So, apparently colored suits are in. I hate it. All I see
when I look at this tux is red velvet cake. And I gave up sweets for Lent. Now
I’m annoyed.
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Marion Cotillard in Dior Haute Couture |
Yahoo says: BEST DRESSED
ATG says: Perhaps it’s just the way she’s standing, but all I can
think of when I see this picture/dress is a poopy diaper.
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Zoe Saldana in Atelier Versace |
Yahoo says: WORST DRESSED
ATG says: I don’t love the color, but a Worst Dressed pick? I
think not.
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Margot Robbie in Saint Laurent |
Yahoo says: BEST DRESSED
ATG says: Did she steal Elvira’s nightgown and pair it with the Heart
of the Ocean? And speaking of the Heart of the Ocean, where did she even get it?
I thought the old lady dropped it into the ocean in the end. Someone must have
went down and got it for her. Or Britney.
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Dakota Johnson in Saint Laurent |
Yahoo says: BEST DRESSED
ATG says: Again, it’s not terrible, but it’s certainly no better than
Gwyneth, who landed on the Worst Dressed list. I just find this girl to be
entirely uninspiring. She’s just blah. Her look is blah. Her acting is blah.
Her personality is blah. She’s like oatmeal. There’s nothing terribly offensive
about it, but there’s nothing particularly memorable about it either.
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Felicity Jones in Alexander McQueen |
Yahoo says: WORST DRESSED
ATG says: I would like this dress more in a different color; the
current color blends too much with her skin. Other than that, though, I like
it. Truly, if you can’t indulge your inner princess when attending the Oscars,
then when can you?
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Kelly Ripa in Christian Siriano |
Yahoo says: WORST DRESSED
ATG says: I get it. This is a big dress on a small woman and her hair
is awful. That said, I have four words for you: Naomi Watts. Best Dressed. I
rest my case.
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Rosamund Pike in Givenchy |
Yahoo says: BEST DRESSED
ATG says: Maybe I’m biased because I just don’t like her. Watching her
act is like watching paint dry – except more boring. And painful. In fact, I
can’t even be sure if this picture is actually of Rosamund or if it’s a
cardboard cutout. Same difference, I suppose. That said, this dress looks like
something you would find in the clearance bin at Tuesday Morning. And I’m not
even talking about a clothes bin. It reminds me of one of those decorative
velveteen hearts – the ones covered in fake roses and suspicious-looking stains
and smelling of failure.
Anyway, those are my thoughts. Feel free to leave yours in the
comments section below. If you’re a reader of ATG, you’re obviously much hipper
and more qualified than those “style experts” at Yahoo to be critiquing, well,
just about anything!