I must admit, I was a bit late to the
Game of Thrones party. In fact, much like with Twilight, it was that
time-honored classic, pure peer pressure, that finally got me. Well,
peer pressure, and the fact that I got tired of not being able to
participate in about 90% of the conversations happening around me.
People love this GoT stuff and they want to discuss it. A lot. It's
like a religion. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if there are Faith
of the Seven churches cropping up all over the country, and filing for
religious tax exemptions, as we speak.
I'll say this for it, love it or hate
it, Game of Thrones certainly has captured people's imaginations. “Did
you see this week's Game of Thrones?” people ask, with big eyes and
even bigger enthusiasm. I felt like I was almost letting them
down when I couldn't match their excitement. Or interest. I had no
opinion on the Starks, John Snow, Daenerys Targaryen and her dragons,
or even Cersei and Jaime's “complicated” relationship (which, by
the way, gross).
So I finally started watching. And I
must say, the storylines are intricate. The locations are gorgeous.
The acting is respectable. But, honestly, I couldn't focus on any of
that. Not really. Not when I was in the throes of such incredible
boobvy.
In case you're unfamiliar with the term
“boobvy” – and you probably are since I just made it up –
boobvy is boob envy. We've all been there, right ladies? It happens
from time to time. It's natural. I'll fully admit that I'm not always
thrilled with what greets me in the mirror every morning, but even I
was surprised by my reaction to these “breast in show” moments.
 |
| Exhibits A and B... Or perhaps, more appropriately, C and D |
Without getting too personal, let me
just say that I've never really been one to covet the chestal areas
of other females. Arms? Sure. Legs? Probably. Abs? Heck yes. But
mammary glands? Not so much. But these Game of Thrones women, geez, not
only do they have perfect bodies (something that you would obviously
expect given that they're on TV), but also perfect, perky, and yes, natural
cleavage. Pretty much all of them,
almost to the woman. It's completely unfair. You should only get to
be one or the other: slim or well-endowed. Having both should be
illegal. Shortcomings are the great equalizer. They're what make
folks relatable. Not having one or two (or a hundred) flaws is like
not having a bellybutton. It makes you an alien.
And, rightly or wrongly, it sure looks
like Game of Thrones has cornered the market on extraterrestrial
actresses. Now, whether or not that will prevent me from tuning in
for Season 6, well, that remains to be seen.
