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| The Phelpster with one of his latest medals. |
You may be
surprised to learn, then, that there were actually other swimmers representing
the United States in Beijing. Shocking, I know, but plenty of Americans were
swimming out their Olympic dreams that year, and it’s my belief that they should’ve
gotten some publicity as well. That’s why it was so refreshing to see that,
this year, other swimmers are getting (almost) as much attention. I was
especially glad to see Ryan Lochte at the head of the press pack, seeing as how
his dad coached my friend’s cousins, so I basically know him (six degrees and
everything. It totally counts).
Unfortunately, my happiness was short-lived (story of my
life) when I made the mistake of watching Ryan in an interview. Let’s just say
that he should probably stick to swimming and print ads. And after reading an
interview his mom gave recently, it’s fairly clear that foot-in-mouth disease
runs in the family.
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| The heartthrob and his loose-lipped mom |
Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I was horrified when
I first read Ike Lochte’s quote that Ryan, “goes out on one-night stands,” a revelation
that seemed to indicate that Ms. Lochte had taken a page out of Kris Jenner’s favorite
book: The Idiot’s Guide to Being a
Terrible Parent. However, on closer inspection, I think perhaps she just misspoke.
After all, she followed up by saying that “He's not able to give fully to a
relationship because he's always on the go.” So, I’m going to give her the benefit
of the doubt and assume that what she meant to say was that her son is too busy
to date anyone seriously. It’s not
that he has one-night stands, but one-night—or one-time—dates. Meaning, he’s too busy for a relationship, so he just dates
casually. Now, whether or not those dates end in one-night stands, I couldn’t
say.
And I sincerely hope his mother can’t either.
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