All Good Things

It’s the end of an era. The TomKat era, that is. 

Apparently Katie Holmes has finally tired of her odd little husband. I can’t say that I blame her, or that I’m surprised. In fact, if I’m surprised by anything, it’s that she’s taken this long to come to her senses. Let’s don’t forget, she was married to Tom Cruise—the same Tom Cruise who was jumping on couches proclaiming his love for her (or to make himself look taller, depending on who you ask) and lecturing Matt Lauer on his ignorance of psychiatry. Don’t get me wrong, I, too, feel Matt Lauer is ignorant—for many, many reasons—not to mention a pompous ass, but isn’t Cruise reaming Lauer for his ignorance a bit like Nicolas Cage teaching an acting class or Donald Trump giving hair-styling tips? 

Desperately in love or just desperate?

 

There are several theories floating around as to what caused the split of the eyebrow-raising pair. One, is that there was a contract—outside of the traditional marriage contract—that Katie and Tom entered into pre-wedding, saying that she’d give him five years and a kid and then she could have her life back. The purpose of the marriage, then, was to prove once and for all that Tom Cruise is as heterosexual as they come; that he LOVES women. It’s been five years, so maybe there's some truth to this rumor. Perhaps this divorce signals the end of Katie's indentured servitude. Perhaps she’s finally been granted her freedom; and, as the United States celebrated its Independence Day, Katie Holmes celebrated hers as well.  

Too dramatic?

Another conspiracy theory is that Cruise is unable to stay married to a woman once she hits the big 3-3. He’s been married three times and every divorce has come after his wife’s 33^rd birthday, a milestone Katie celebrated last December.  

These are both interesting ideas, but I happen to believe the much less sensational theory that she simply got tired of being married to a controlling husband and absentee father. After all, every single day there were new pictures of an increasingly gaunt and sullen-looking Katie and her seemingly undisciplined daughter, Suri, in the press. Every day. But where was Tom? Nowhere to be seen. Probably because he was off writing anonymous hate mail to Dr. Drew and waxing his pecs.

Then there’s the whole issue of Scientology, which has understandably been thrust into the spotlight in the wake of the split. I certainly have my own thoughts on the “religion,” but seeing as how the “church” likes to stalk and sue people, I’ll probably just keep those to myself.   

I’ll tell you this much, though: This is a sad, sad day for all of us Valentine-sending, heart-collecting, Love Actually­-watching lovers of love. I mean, if an alien couple, who spent years expressing their love for each other in inappropriate ways, and engaging in painfully awkward and embarrassing PDAs, can’t make it work, then what hope do the rest of us have?!

This is almost as awkward as Angelina and her brother.