Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Well, friends, in the interest of full disclosure, I think you should know that I’m getting dumber.

Most people, when they realize that their brains are atrophying, choose to strengthen them by learning a new language, reading a little Voltaire, perhaps picking up a book of Sudoku. But what did I do? I watched Fox’s I Wanna Marry Harry.

It didn’t help.  

Listen, if anyone can understand the desire to marry the Sweet Ginger Prince, it’s this girl, but COME ON. Is this for real? I really can’t tell.

I mean, I went into it knowing full well that it had to be a joke. These girls couldn’t possibly be dumb enough to seriously believe it was Harry. Sure, they were choosing to go on a reality show – on Fox, no less – but, still, no one’s that stupid, right?

The unfortunate answer is, I’m not sure.

Perhaps these ladies should consider availing themselves of some Voltaire or Sudoku.

Separated at birth? You decide.

Let’s hope that the women on this show are readers of ATG – although, if they’re not, it would support my hypothesis that they’re not very smart – because I’m about to break down just a few of the reasons why this fellow couldn’t, under any circumstances, be my beloved Harry:

1)      In what universe does the SGP, the world’s most eligible bachelor, need a dating show to meet girls/find a girlfriend?

2)      In what universe would the Queen be okay with her future granddaughter-in-law being picked from a group of wannabe actresses on a reality dating show? Sure, she’s apparently relaxed her standards a little considering that Duchass Kate somehow weaseled her way into the Firm, but I have to imagine that sex on TV is still a no-no.

3)      In what universe does this guy look anything like Prince Harry? I understand that not everyone is as big a connoisseur of Harry’s face as I am, but still. Aside from both having red hair and the whole British thing, these two are nothing alike. In fact, I’d be more inclined to believe that this chap was the other brother, William (except for the fact that his hair is red – and he has a lot of it).

This is the one that many consider to be the frontrunner. And this isn't even her ugliest face. Yep, I think that pretty much sums up this show.

I’m not saying that these aren’t the types of girls that Harry typically dates. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised at all if dumb, falsely superior, and generically pretty is very much his type. But I find it very hard to believe that Harry – an integral member of a family that seems to value privacy and decorum almost above all else – would be stupid enough to allow the world a bird’s eye view of his poor decision making. And even if he showed impaired judgment on this one, I’m fairly certain that his handlers/grandmum would never, ever, ever, under any circumstances, ever allow it to happen.

For all these reasons, this ruse just isn’t one that I can ever imagine myself falling for, which means that, even with my partially atrophied brain, I’m still apparently too intelligent to “marry Harry.”