When I was 8, one of my best friends, Moonbeam*, would come over to play Barbies. Our buxom friends had some marvelous adventures: They went to Disneyworld, sat by the pool of their Dream House, and went cruising in their pink Corvette convertible. But they were lonely, sitting “in their bedrooms crying because they didn’t have boyfriends.” (This, by the way, is a direct quote from my 4-year-old self. I obviously watched way too much Days of Our Lives.)
One day, however, those tears dried. Moonbeam’s Barbie got a boyfriend! But, not just any boyfriend, Jordan Knight! That’s right, Moonbeam had received a Jordan Knight doll for Christmas and now, instead of hanging out by the pool, her Barbie spent her time at New Kids on the Block concerts, on their tour bus, and beating groupies off with a stick. (This was when NKOTB was still cool.)
 |
| An uncanny resemblance |
My Barbie, however, still cried. Until, that is, Jordan brought his brother Jon - who looked suspiciously like a Ken doll - around. Jonathan Knight, how I loved him. This was, of course, before we knew that he was more interested in Ken than Barbie. (Unfortunately, my taste in men hasn’t much improved.)
I was fairly certain that my love for Jon was fairly unwavering, despite the fact that he was fairly unattracted to the fairer sex. Imagine my surprise then when this past week, after attending a concert that may or may not have included the New Kids, I realized that the new New Kid of my affection is most definitely Donnie Wahlberg! (Again, I’ll pause while you judge me.) I thought he was just the old guy with the rattail. But, I was wrong. He’s actually kind of awesome.
 |
| Hot Kid on the Block |
He’s the eighth of nine children (the ninth being Marky Mark, aka Mark Wahlberg, he with the third nipple; you may’ve heard of him) born into a Boston Catholic family. He joined the New Kids at 15, was arrested at 21, and fell into obscurity at 25. But, lucky for us, he’s back now! Not only as a New Kid, but also as a pretty impressive actor.
I’ve already plugged his show Blue Bloods so I won’t do it again (after all, I’m not receiving any kickbacks for the publicity), but if you’re not watching it, you really should be - if for no other reason than to watch the all-grown-up Donnie Wahlberg play a no-nonsense detective. He may be without his rattail, ripped jeans, and pleather vest, but he’s still got every bit of the butt-kicking attitude that made multitudes of girls (although, not this particular one - that came later) fall in love with him all those many mullets ago.
I’ve already plugged his show Blue Bloods so I won’t do it again (after all, I’m not receiving any kickbacks for the publicity), but if you’re not watching it, you really should be - if for no other reason than to watch the all-grown-up Donnie Wahlberg play a no-nonsense detective. He may be without his rattail, ripped jeans, and pleather vest, but he’s still got every bit of the butt-kicking attitude that made multitudes of girls (although, not this particular one - that came later) fall in love with him all those many mullets ago.
*Some names have been changed to protect the innocent.
