Cry Me a River

Well, folks, we have a new prayer intention to add to the list. Sure, there are families that can’t afford to put food on the table or gas in the car. And, yes, children are left orphaned and alone every day at the hands of senseless violence. And, of course, there’s still that pesky little problem of unemployment and extraordinary debt for so many of us. But forget all that. You know who has real problems?

Katy Perry.

Auditioning for the role of Smurfette, Katy?

 

Her life is just so, so difficult. Why, you ask? Well, you see, it’s just SO HARD being famous. And, according to an interview she recently gave to Teen Vogue, she’s tired of it! In fact, she said that she found fame to be a “disgusting by-product” of what she does. To this I say, cry me a river, Katy Perry.

(Sidebar: Does anyone else find it ironic that she was complaining about being famous in a mass-marketed magazine? If you don’t want to be famous, stop courting attention. Am I wrong?)

Here’s the thing about fame: It pays your bills. Let’s not get it twisted, Kate, you’re not that talented and your songs are really stupid; if it weren’t for that disgusting by-product, as you call it, you’d be singing for quarters on subway platforms. Lucky for you, talent is not a prerequisite for being famous—just ask the Kardashians—and, therefore, you’ve been able to carve out a lucrative career for yourself. Imagine how tough it would be if you didn’t look like a pin-up and actually had to rely on talent alone. Scary, I know, but it’s the reality for many people—you know, like real musicians.

Oh, and one more thing, love, perhaps if you’re tired of all the attention that comes with being famous, you should reconsider the blue hair. Hair colors not found in nature are never a good choice when trying to blend in.

And now that I’ve said all that, please know that this is the absolute last bit of attention I’ll be giving you or your “career.”

After all, I know how much you hate it.