Fashion Fail of the Week

Seeing as how there’s no shortage of terrible fashion choices by many of today’s celebrities, it seems appropriate to introduce a new weekly (and by weekly, I mean, whenever we feel like it) feature: celebrity fashion fails.

And seeing as how we’re celebrating the inception of said feature, you lucky birds get two fashion fails this week! Hey, it’s Memorial Day Weekend. I’m feeling generous (and slightly inebriated).

First up…

The Duchess’s even more worthless sister, Pippa Middleton, at a friend’s wedding. 

On the topic of outrageous Middleton propaganda, here’s what the headline above these pictures read: Pippa Middleton shows off her impeccable taste at another big day. What exactly was impeccable about Ms. Middleton’s fashion taste? Perhaps the chopsticks in the hat or the traffic-cone orange of the dress? Or how about the elastic waistband around her middle (a practical choice if you’re planning to overindulge at the buffet table)? Or maybe it was the Lady Godiva chocolate box that she’s turned into a purse. A frugal choice, admittedly. I guess she has to recycle such things, seeing as how her parents are commoners.

What am I missing here? As far as I can tell all she’s got going for her is the media’s unconditional love--for her sister.

And, of course, what fashion fail list is complete without the world’s most inappropriate mom, Pamela Anderson. This woman is FORTY-FOUR and dresses like she’s twenty. The grossest part is that she really could be an attractive woman if she would just class it up a bit and dress a little more age-appropriately. The bleached-beyond-recognition hair and painted-on eyebrows are never good looks, but especially on a FORTY-FOUR year old mother of two. 

The reality is, she probably has an enviable figure, but this dress does nothing to highlight the positives and instead merely accentuates the negatives.

I think these two women illustrate perfectly what I’ve been saying for years: money can’t buy you class…or good taste. What it apparently can buy you, however, is the unadulterated love and admiration of the media.

Hmm, I think we’ve just solved the mystery of Kim Kardashian.