Seeing as how there’s no shortage of terrible fashion choices by many of today’s celebrities, it seems appropriate to introduce a new weekly (and by weekly, I mean, whenever we feel like
it) feature: celebrity fashion fails.
And seeing as how we’re celebrating the inception of said
feature, you lucky birds get two
fashion fails this week! Hey, it’s Memorial Day Weekend. I’m feeling generous
(and slightly inebriated).
First up…
The Duchess’s even more worthless sister, Pippa Middleton,
at a friend’s wedding.
On the topic of outrageous Middleton propaganda, here’s
what the headline above these pictures read: Pippa Middleton shows off her impeccable taste at another big day. What
exactly was impeccable about Ms. Middleton’s fashion taste? Perhaps the
chopsticks in the hat or the traffic-cone orange of the dress? Or how about the elastic waistband around her middle (a practical
choice if you’re planning to overindulge at the buffet table)? Or maybe it was
the Lady Godiva chocolate box that she’s turned into a purse. A frugal choice,
admittedly. I guess she has to recycle such things, seeing as how her parents
are commoners.
What am I missing here? As far as I can tell all she’s
got going for her is the media’s unconditional love--for her sister.
And, of course, what fashion fail list is complete without the
world’s most inappropriate mom, Pamela Anderson. This woman is FORTY-FOUR and dresses
like she’s twenty. The grossest part is that she really could be an attractive
woman if she would just class it up a bit and dress a little more
age-appropriately. The bleached-beyond-recognition hair and painted-on eyebrows
are never good looks, but especially on a FORTY-FOUR year old mother of two.
The reality is, she probably has an enviable figure, but this
dress does nothing to highlight the positives and instead merely accentuates
the negatives.
I think these two women illustrate perfectly what I’ve been saying
for years: money can’t buy you class…or good taste. What it apparently can buy
you, however, is the unadulterated love and admiration of the media.
Hmm, I think we’ve just solved the mystery of Kim Kardashian.
