Worthless in Waiting

So, while most of the world spent last week debating whether or not the Workless Wonder had “accidentally” let it slip that she might be gestating a little queen (and I’m not talking about RuPaul), I spent last week…working. At work.

And as I spent 40 hours of my week locked in the proverbial chains that Corporate America issues with each miniscule paycheck, it occurred to me yet again how foreign the concept of work really is to the royals. After all, Kate was “working” when she (un)intentionally revealed that she and her old man may be having a girl.

Oh, yes, it was work alright. Showing up. Smiling. Breathing. Apparently this is all very hard work for the royals.

This particular work event took place at the National Fishing Heritage Centre in Lincolnshire. The purpose? I have no idea. What I do know is that Kate arrived over an hour late. She then shook a few hands, smiled her fake smile, laughed her maniacal laugh, played with her hair, accepted a few of the gifts being showered upon her, and then was off again. 

 This breathing thing is VERY hard work. You must remember to breathe in and out. In and out. In and...wait, how does it go again? 

If you’re wondering why she was so late to only her third day of engagements this year, it was because London was foggy. And, although she had originally been scheduled to take a train to Lincolnshire—a vehicle that would have had no trouble traveling in the fog and would have only cost the taxpayers a reasonable £216—she requested instead to take a HELICOPTER, at a £4,000 cost to the taxpayer. And, because London was foggy, the helicopter was grounded, making Kate late. Ironically, the grounding of her overly extravagant ride is the only thing about Kate that IS grounded.

Here I am. You may now gaze upon my awesomeness. You're welcome.

When pressed about yet another poor PR decision by the Deficient Duchess, a palace mouthpiece said:

“A number of factors are always taken into account when considering royal travel arrangements, including what the member of the Royal family is doing before and after the engagements, and it was decided that the best way to travel was by the Royal Flight helicopter.”

“What the Royal family is doing before and after” translates into, “Dolittle wants to go shopping and can’t be bothered to waste time on a train. She’d rather waste the taxpayers’ money.” In all fairness, she doesn’t always waste the taxpayers’ hard-earned dollars (or pounds, more appropriately) on shopping.

Sometimes she wastes them on lavish vacations.

Recently, ATG reported the trip Dolittle and Baldylocks took to Mustique. After their return, however, Kate really buckled down. She did one, maybe two, days of work, and then, poor dear, was so exhausted that she needed another holiday. This time to the slopes. Sure, it was for a friend’s wedding, but does anyone really think that the Tepid Twosome was going to forgo a ski vacay this year?

Have they ever?

Nope.

And now that poor Kate and her little queen (and I’m not talking about Willy Windsor) have put in yet another day’s work, I’m sure there’s already another vacation in the works. At the expense of the taxpayer, of course. But when you consider that a few hundred, or even thousand, of those taxpayers will have the immense honor of breathing the same air as the Divine Duchess as she jets in and out of her few public appearances in between hair appointments, shopping trips and lavish vacations, it really is a small price to pay.

Let them eat cake, indeed.