The Girlfriend Needs to Eat a Sandwich Club

Let me preface this by saying that I love Jennifer Connelly. Love. With a capital L. I think she’s beautiful and talented—even in stinkers like Dark Water—which is probably why she doesn’t get much respect from Hollywood. They tend not to support talent and substance, preferring instead to bow at the altar of the vacuous and vapid.

Quite honestly, I was surprised at my newfound JConn love. For years, my only exposure to her was the off-putting flick Labyrinth—which was obviously created by the same folks behind Disney’s Alice in Wonderland (read: those who avail themselves of mind-altering substances)—which we watched every year at a friend’s annual sleep-over birthday party. Between Jen’s eyebrows and David Bowie’s, well, everything, I just never got the appeal. In fact, I’ve come to hate the name Toby simply because it’s said approximately 5,137 times throughout the movie (and because, let's be honest, I hate Tobey Maguire).

It wasn’t actually until fairly recently that I came to truly like and appreciate Jennifer (and her equally talented husband, Paul Bettany). And it’s precisely because of this love and appreciation that I feel obligated to say, Girlfriend needs to eat a sandwich!

Look, obviously Girlfriend’s always been slim, but these latest pics make her look like she’s taking dieting tips (and laxatives) from Kate Middleton and LeAnn Rimes. Her legs look almost skeletal. In her defense—and in order to avoid any cease and desist letters—I should say that there’s a possibility that it’s just the angle or lighting. I sincerely doubt it. But it’s possible. 

I sure hope she hasn’t crumbled under Hollywood’s weight-obsessed pressure. She’s too good, too talented, for that. And if she has decided to take a page out of Duchess Not-So-Weighty’s book, she best proceed with caution. The skin-draped-bones look doesn’t wear well on anyone—especially as they age—and emaciation chic is SO last season. 

However, despite JConn’s apparent antagonist relationship with dinner, she’s fared pretty well—at least when you consider that she was a child actor. We’ve all seen how wrong that can go. But if Girlfriend doesn’t avail herself of a very large, very greasy sandwich soon, she’s destined to go down as just another cautionary, “eat your veggies,” tale. And that would be a tragedy on pretty much every level.