The Girlfriend Needs to Eat a Sandwich Club

Many of us remember Leann Rimes when she was just a sweet, young thing with a cherub face and Aretha voice.

THEN

Unfortunately, somewhere between her seraphic youth and home-wrecking adulthood, she came to look less like Teen Angel and, instead, has recently taken on more of a Skeletor appearance…only less healthy looking.

 

Eating disorders are, of course, never a laughing matter, but this poor girl has taken delusion to a whole new level (and if anyone understands delusion, it’s me). And so it is that she finds herself on our list. For, you see, Leann seems to suffer from a terrible case of verbal diarrhea. Apparently the laxatives that she may or may not be taking have affected her maxillofacial area as well.

And, it appears, her favorite method of spreading her own brand of TMI across the universe, is the Internet – or, more specifically, Twitter. I, myself, don’t “Tweet” – simply because my life is so boring, I don’t even want to know what I’m doing from minute to minute – but from what I hear, she’s quite the Twitteraholic. (You’d think a newlywed would have better things to do with her time, but I guess I’m just old-fashioned.)

And, although she feels the need to fill the cyber world with countless delusional sound bites, my absolute favorite was her response to a (concerned?) fan (?) who mentioned that Leann may want to make the acquaintance of a Twinkie (or thirty); that perhaps her low self-esteem wasn’t the only thing that was showing; and that, except for on your dinner plate or a Parisian runway, visible ribs are never a good look.

Here was Ms. Rimes’s well-thought-out response:  

“…those are called abs not bones love.”

NOW

Granted, I’m not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, but I’m fairly certain “abs” implies muscle, of which I see none. Anywhere. It’s unfortunate, really, as she used to be a fairly good-looking human being, and now she just looks like a less-attractive cousin of the Berenstain Bears. But, perhaps worst of all, it seems that with each pound she lost, she also lost any semblance of a sense of humor or attractive personality.

But, at the end of the day, who can really blame her? After all, don’t we all get a little beast-like when we’re hungry?