The Not-so-Jolly, Green-with-Envy Giant

My adorable grandparents recently celebrated their 60^th wedding anniversary, something I find to be a pretty incredible feat considering I can’t even imagine committing to a pair of jeans or a hair color for 60 years, let alone a person. And, as you would expect, such a huge accomplishment required an equally huge celebration.

It was in preparing for this celebration, that it became painfully clear to me yet again that the shoe industry discriminates against its taller clientele; more specifically, they simply don’t make cute shoes with low(ish) heels.

I have it from a reliable source that Princess Diana, in an effort to not dwarf her rather dwarf-like husband, brought flat and low-heeled shoes into fashion. I appreciate this stylistic move. Apparently, however, the fashion industry’s embrace of more statuesque women died right along with the former princess.

Princess Di proves that basic can be beautiful

Note to Jimmy Choo: Some girls are tall enough already, we don’t need 4-inch platform heels. But we’d prefer not to have to sport the orthopedic look either. When you lose the heel, do you automatically have to lose the fashionability as well? It’s an honest question, as my experience has offered countless options with ankle-breaking height or, on the flip side, flats that look like they’d be most at home in Nurse Ratched’s closet.

Where are the sleek, fashionable low-heeled shoes for the tall girls?! You can say a lot about Kate Middleton (and I have) but she’s done the long-legged bunch of us a great service by embracing her vertical boundary-busting status. She’s constantly seen sporting heels that add a good three inches to her (alleged) 5’10” frame. (You can do that when you marry a tall prince, as opposed to an elfin one, like her late mother-in-law.) And for that I say, God bless you, Kate Middleton. God bless you.

Kate Middleton sports stilettos fit for a princess

Thanks to the efforts of the former Ms. Middleton and her statuesque counterparts, perhaps there will come a day when our leggy descendants can walk into a room, in fabulous stiletto heels, and not feel incredibly awkward for being the tallest person there. Today, however - at least as far as I’m concerned - is not that day.

Which just goes to show that, just because the shoe fits, it doesn’t mean you should necessarily buy it.