Y’all, it may surprise you to hear
this, but I don’t like Ashley Judd. It used to be a low-level hate,
based mostly on her complete lack of acting ability and her face, but
it’s recently risen to a DEFCON 1, maybe 2, level of hate. And,
shockingly, this change in opinion is entirely unrelated to her face
or lack of talent (both of which I still find fairly offensive).
Apparently I’m growing as a person. I know. I’m pretty impressed
with myself too.
Actually, that’s not entirely true.
This new level of hate does come courtesy of her face – or at least
part of it. It’s her mouth, or, more specifically, the nonsense it
spews, that elicits such ire. I admit, this isn’t a new occurrence.
She’s been spewing nonsense for years. Most celebrities do. But
this newest nonsense offends me to my glittery core. In fact, it’s
a glitterocity.
Yes, Ashley Judd’s stupidity hit
Kanye levels in a recent Facebook Live post. In case you don’t feel
like subjecting yourself to the insanity perpetuated in the video
below, let me give you the CliffsNotes version. It all boils down to
this: Ashley Judd finds it very offensive when a man calls her
sweetheart. Or compliments her dress. This is, as she calls it,
“everyday sexism.” That’s it in a nutshell, but in case you’re
a masochist (as I apparently am) and would like a little more detail,
here you go:
Ashley Judd, she who has singlehandedly
taken up the fight for all women, one airport security officer at a
time, recently found herself, no surprise, in an airport security
line. So far so good. But it’s what happened next that really
offended her delicate sensibilities.
Please brace yourself. What she was
forced to endure is truly appalling and may not be suitable for the
faint of heart. No human should ever be treated with such disregard.
As Princess Ashley was making her way
through security, one of the guards said, wait for it, “hey,
sweetheart.” What??!? The gall of him. I’m almost overwhelmed
with fury. How. Dare. He. Not one to stand for such disrespect, our
fearless leader, Ashley the Magnificent, quickly put this vile human
in his place. She quickly reminded him that a) she wasn’t his
sweetheart, and b) she was his client. Does her awesomeness know no
bounds? Katemazing better watch out. There may be a new savior in
town.
Unfortunately this encounter would get
worse before it got better. (I know it’s tough, but we’ll get
through this together.) After the peasant was reminded that he was
*cough* essentially her Highness’s employee, he had the audacity
to—it’s almost too upsetting to say—compliment her dress.
You just can’t make this stuff up. I’m sure you would agree that
this is a most egregious display of sexism, especially because She of
the “nice dress” didn’t hear him compliment anyone else’s
dress. I mean, obviously the compliment had nothing to do with him
possibly trying to make a nice impression on a famous person. Or
trying to rebound from the tongue-lashing he had just received for
offending her female sensibilities. No, the only logical explanation
is that he was a total sexist pig.
But, wait. There’s more.
As she was moving through the line,
this presumptuous, sexist monster deigned to touch her holiness. I
know. I know. It’s too much. I can’t imagine the horror. I have
never been touched in an airport security line, nor have I ever seen
anyone touched—incidentally or otherwise—in an airport security
line; so, yet again, the only logical conclusion is that he was
belittling and sexisming her.
But, wait. There’s still more.
Seriously, just when you thought it couldn’t get worse...
As if he hadn’t already insulted her
enough, as she gathered her belongings, trying to put this whole
sordid affair behind her, this cad, this dog, this vile human being
said, prepare yourself, “Have a good day, sweetheart.” I know.
It’s too much. I am completely disheartened by the inhumanity of it
all. How can we treat each other with such disrespect? It’s truly
sickening. Perhaps you can’t know the true heinousness of the crime
unless you watch the video below. But please, please if you
have children in the room, remove them before watching it. Children
shouldn’t have to be subjected to such ugliness.
Guys, I can’t. Considering this is a woman who is famous solely for her last name and boobs – which, incidentally, she apparently has no issue displaying ad nauseam on film – she takes herself way, way too seriously. Maybe this guy was just being nice. I’ve certainly been called honey, or sweetie, or yes even *gasp* sweetheart a time or two—by both men and women—and I’ve never found it to be particularly offensive. In fact, I almost consider it a term of endearment. Perhaps it’s my southern roots. But, then, Ashley (or perhaps that’s too familiar; would you prefer I call you Ms. Judd, sweetheart?) grew up in Kentucky so who the hell knows what her problem is?
What I am fairly certain of, however,
is that turning this into another gender war is just stupid. It
simplifies the issue way too much, completely dumbing it down. (Of
course, this is the woman who called a conveyer belt a doohickey, so
not a huge surprise.) I worked with a lovely woman this summer, the
office momager if you will, who called everyone baby. Men and women
alike. It didn’t feel offensive or disrespectful. But, then, I
wasn’t looking for things to be offended by. Perhaps that’s the
difference. And to be fair, I’ve heard plenty of women refer to
men, both young and old, as sweetie or honey. Would this have
elicited the same response from Her Majassty? I’m guessing no.
But if you thought all of the above was
the purpose of this post, you would be wrong. Let me explain why I
find this type of rant so offensive: Sexism exists. It’s
an unfortunate commentary on the world, but there it is. There are
women who are grossly mistreated or underestimated simply because they are women, both
internationally and at home. So when a pampered princess like Ashley
Judd goes on a rant because some peasant called her sweetheart, she
minimizes and dilutes every legitimate claim of sexism that follows.
People become so immune to the claims, so numb, that they can no
longer be incensed – or even sympathetic – to authentic cries of
sexism. That’s what she should be railing against: the false
claims, those that lessen the legitimacy of every real one.
But of course she’s not doing that.
Why do something that matters when instead you can waste everyone’s
time with your elitist, easily offended, nonsense, while
simultaneously slandering a guy who was probably just trying to do
his job – and was perhaps a little star struck as well? All while
wearing a giant floppy hat. In an airport. To avoid attention, I’m
sure.
And speaking of her appearance, since
she basically dared me to address it, does anyone else find it ironic
that a woman who presents herself as such an I-am-woman-hear-me-roar,
don’t-call-me-sweetie kind of gal has had so much plastic
surgery? Do you suppose she did it for herself, to fulfill some
deep-seated need within her? Because, I mean, surely she didn’t do
it for a man. That would be entirely unacceptable, completely sad and
utterly pathetic. After all, strong women don’t need a man’s
approval.
They do, however, apparently need a lot
of Botox and Restylane.
