Death, Taxes, and Royal Babies

Benjamin Franklin was wrong; there are actually three things that are certain. The one he forgot to mention is the surety of royal babies.

The heir to the throne, regardless of kingdom, must always produce an heir, under penalty of death. (Okay, so maybe it’s not quite that dramatic, but it is a job requirement.) And fortunately for Prince William, it appears that he won’t be requiring a trip to the Tower of London anytime soon. 

  In case you haven’t yet heard, the Most Beautiful Couple in the World is currently gestating the Most Beautiful Baby in the World. I don't mean to be rude, but if these two are the most beautiful, the world's in serious trouble.   

Yep, it’s official. The Palace has confirmed that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge (that’s Waity and her husband for those of you who don’t speak the lingo) are expecting their heir. What the Palace neglected to say is that upon hearing this news, Prince Harry’s reply was, “Yippee! Now I won’t have to be king! More naked Vegas romps for me!!!” (I’m paraphrasing, of course.) And, although ATG’s response to the news was a bit more subdued, we are quite looking forward to more pics of Harry in his birthday suit; it is, after all, his best outfit.

Like I said before, this news was inevitable. And, although British Baby Watch has been happening for almost two years now, I had a sneaking suspicion that this time it wasn’t just that the Duchess had gorged herself on enchiladas and broccoli; that this time she might actually be packing a baby. What I’m not looking forward to, however, is what’s sure to be a daily inundation of royal baby news. We get it. She’s pregnant. And will be for many months. Nothing else to see here. At least not for another nine months or so—and, honestly, newborns aren’t that exciting either. Talk to me in about ten years.

Where is this "glow" that everyone keeps talking about? I don't see it. Perhaps I'm glow averse.

Word on the street (and by street, I mean the gold-lined avenues of Buckingham Palace), is that the Duchess had to be admitted to the hospital today with some form of severe morning sickness. The statement read, "As the pregnancy is in its very early stages, Her Royal Highness is expected to stay in hospital for several days and will require a period of rest thereafter."

Did I call this or what? “A period of rest thereafter” probably means the next 40 years or so. Nice work if you can get it.

Is morning sickness contagious because I suddenly feel a bit nauseated.