The Royal Dog & Pony Show: "Commoner" Edition

Hello, Internet!  It's time for my first post.  Many, many thanks to my dear, dear friend R for keeping this up while I finished up some loose ends.  And many, many thanks to R for brining to my attention the twin travesties hitting the gossip mags this week.  

Travesty numéro un

All I have to say is: WHY, WHY, WHY is the even less hot (and it pains me to admit that) sister now famous?  She looks even older than her sister.  The only fresh-faced good looking one in the family is Brother Middleton and he has a high voice.   And likes to wear women's clothes (allegedly).  When will that story break?  Because I  WILL BUY THAT MAGAZINE. 

But wait, dear readers, there is more... 

Travesty numéro deux

After I nearly vomited in my own mouth, I thought about the (alleged)  "you're next" comment.  And if I know two things about men, they will say anything when:

1.  They are drunk (fact)

2.  The possibility of sex tricks loom large (double fact)

And we know both of those things were present that night.  Also, we need to consider the possibility that the Orange One's carrot-like hue has one of two effects on the Ginger Prince:  either he's hypnotized by her glow in the dark color or he's being poisoned by chemical leaching from her fake tanner.  

I think this may be a real possibility. 

And just because it's my maiden post, please take a little trip to the early morning inner workings of my mind...

I wonder how committed the Orange One is to her fake tanner (read: are her lady bits also orange or are they blindlingly white)?  I hope that when she and Ginge break up that she entertains someone else who leaks the pictures.  Inquiring minds MUST know!