I hesitated to write yet another blog about the royals,
fearing that perhaps ATG was starting to feel a bit one-note, but then I
thought, why deny myself the gift that keeps on giving – that is, the pleasure
of judging a family that literally (but not literally) lives
to fuel my judgmental ramblings?
So, here we go…
You may have heard that Kate spent last Friday – or at
least part of it – “working”; that is, she played volleyball. In four-inch
heels…or “espadrilles” for those who speak fashion. (I do, but not fluently.)
You may not know what they’re technically called, but if you pay any attention
to the Duchess, you’ve seen these shoes. She’s rarely without them. They’re
like an obnoxiously tall, overpriced, sweaty, smelly security blanket.
But aside from the shoes, the big news to come out of the
“work” engagement was that Kate has a stomach.
I’ll give her this: It’s flat. Really flat. Looks like
she’s returned to her pre-baby diet of soda crackers and air.
Now, you may be wondering how it is that we came to see
the Deficient Duchess’s mid-section while she was working. Obviously I’m no
princess (well, not technically) but I can’t recall ever revealing my tummy
while at work. (I did inadvertently show my naked butt to a coworker once, but
that’s an entirely different story.) So how did this peek-a-boo moment occur? Well,
it was all the result of an entirely unplanned, completely random, totally unmanufactured
series of events. Let me set the stage for you:
The Duchess shows up for her “job” at a SportsAid workshop.
As a patron of the charity, it makes sense that she would be there. It even
makes sense that she would participate in some of the activities, showing the
world that she’s still Sporty Spice even after having birthed a loud lion baby. The organizers apparently agreed that a little physical
activity should be on the agenda, as they planned for Kate to play badminton
with some of the children. Kate, however, declined the racket and the offer, choosing
instead to play a little v-ball.
Now, perhaps this was all very innocent. Perhaps the
volleyball game fit into her schedule better. Perhaps she felt more comfortable
with a ball than a birdie. Or perhaps the world’s most perfect role model
wanted to reveal not only her impossibly flat stomach – a feat that may not
have been quite as easy on the badminton court – but also her complete superiority
over every other woman in the world.
Mission accomplished, Duchess. Mission accomplished.
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| Who has time for a job when one is so busy being so much better than all of you? |
In other royal news (did you know there were other
royals?), Prince George is scheduled to be christened on Wednesday. Royal christenings
are a very big deal. Bookies have been taking bets on who the little prince’s godparents
will be for weeks. (Does it not seem a bit wrong to be taking bets on a
sacrament?)
The biggest news, however, is that the girlfriend that I’m
still in denial about is on the guest list. Yes, my friends,
apparently the Sweet Ginger Prince has requested that his lady love be invited
to the christening. I guess this means that she may actually exist and that she
also may actually be dating my boyfriend.
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| Living the dream...ATG's dream |
It may also mean, as is being reported,
that Harry is quite serious about making her his princess. And if Harry’s got
wedding bells ringing in his head, it means that the ATG girls need to step up
their game ASAP in order to ensure that the only aisles the SGP walks down
anytime soon are at Tesco.
Challenge accepted.
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