The Reign In Spain

I always thought the Spanish royal family would be a good choice if one was looking to force oneself marry into a royal family. Their prince is pretty handsome, in a Disney sort of way; they get some attention from the press, but aren’t smothered by it; there’s the whole Catholic thing; and the Spaniards, in general, are a beautiful people. Win, win and win.

Then Prince Felipe went and married someone else. Story of my life.

Sure, Letizia Ortiz was a career-minded, divorced commoner. But she was beautiful and well-dressed. And last Thursday, she also added “queen” to her resume. Lucky girl.

Letizia’s husband, Crown Prince Felipe, became King Felipe VI last Thursday after his father, King Juan Carlos, signed the legislation making his abdication official on Wednesday. It’s believed that Juan Carlos did this, at least in part, to help revive the Spanish monarchy with new, younger blood, thereby increasing its popularity as well.

 Felipe, Letizia, and their daughters, Sofia and Leonor, at his coronation.  

Monarchies are a funny thing. Some people love them, some hate them (usually the people who have to live under them), and apparently Spain is no different. In fact, they appear to be one of the more divided countries on the subject, especially after Juan Carlos went on a very extravagant, very expensive elephant-hunting safari a couple of years ago during the height of the country’s recession.

Apparently the Spaniards are in such bad shape that it wasn’t even the hunting of elephants that bothered them; it was the expense incurred to do so.

PETA must not translate well into Spanish.

Royals taking luxurious vacations while their “subjects” struggle to survive isn’t an unfamiliar tale. In fact, dare I say, it is a tale as old as time. What isn’t so familiar, however, is the simplicity and modesty with which Felipe’s coronation was handled, in an effort to show solidarity with a struggling populace. Was it all just lip service by the royals in an effort to save their jobs? Quite possibly. But at least it shows that they’re listening to the people, which can’t necessarily be said for all royal families/heads of state.

Speaking of, no foreign royals or heads of state were invited to witness Felipe’s ascension to the throne. And, although 2,000 important folks were invited to the reception – including bankers, politicians, and bull fighters – their post-coronation feast consisted only of tapas, which are Spanish appetizers (I Googled it), and sparkling wine, all of which they enjoyed while standing up. I assume this is because no chairs were provided – in another effort to save on costs – but perhaps it was for some other reason entirely, maybe some European diet trick.

Perhaps this is how the Spanish stay so thin.

And since we’re on the topic of thin, let’s discuss Spain’s new queen in a bit more detail, shall we? First, she’s thin. She’s also young, at least as far as queens go. She’s mother to Sofia and Leonor. (Their father is King Felipe.) And she’s *gasp* divorced. From her *gasp* high school English teacher. (Okay, so that one really is kind of gasp-worthy. And gross.)

She’s also apparently, overall, wholly unpopular among the people. Why is anyone’s guess, although it can probably be chalked up to two things: 1) the fact that the monarchy is, overall, wholly unpopular among the people, and 2) the fact that she’s an arrogant, disinterested, detached, snobby witch. Allegedly.

Given the fact that she’s not the most popular woman on the planet, she’s probably been bestowed with many (unpleasant) titles, but the one that seems to be getting the most use as of late is the title of Spain’s first “commoner queen.” I can’t say that I’d love being referred to as a “commoner” anything, but I suppose if it was followed by “queen,” I could probably get used to it. 

Felipe and his common wife on their wedding day.

Perhaps you’re wondering what makes her so common. Being the daughter of a journalist and a nurse - and the granddaughter of a taxi driver - of course. And then there’s the fact that she was part of the working class, working as a broadcast journalist for many years. FYI, if you’re wondering what actual, well-documented work prior to achieving royal status looks like, this is it.

Whether these young royals will be the breath of fresh air that the Spanish monarchy needs to survive is anyone’s guess, but I’m kind of rooting for them.

Then again, I don’t have to pay for them – or their PETA-enraging habits.