Surely She Jests

Proving yet again how out of touch with the real world she is, Kim Kardashian was caught, ON CAMERA, claiming that she’s worked hard for everything she has. Go ahead and pick your jaw up off the floor. I’ll wait. No one would be able to hear me over the hysterical laughter anyway. It’s okay; take your time. Ready? Good, let’s proceed.

I believe Ms. Kardashian’s exact words were, “…no one ever gave me anything.” Of course, she then followed it with, “I told mom 'This is exactly what I want to do,' and she made it happen.” So which is it, Kimbo? You either do it on your own or your mom makes it happen. As far as I can see, you can’t have it both ways.

Just for argument’s sake, let me give you the context of the comment. It won’t matter. At all. But I’m going to do it anyway. Don’t say I never gave you anything.

Here goes…

The Kardashian clan recently found themselves filming a “therapy session” scene for their “television show.” It was during this session that Kim made the outrageous claim to her brother, Rob, who she felt hasn’t been trying hard enough to be successful. Now, let me preface this by saying that I believe 99.9% of what happens on this show (which, disclaimer, I don’t watch…under any circumstances) is scripted. However, considering Kim owes her fame to a sex tape and very little else, perhaps she should be careful about the advice she dispenses. It’s a long fall off that high, bedazzled horse.  

Rob and his wise sister, Kim. Who needs Solomon, Gandhi, and Mr. Miyagi when you have Keeping Up with the Kardashians?  

Listen, I’ll be the first to admit that she took her five minutes and ran with it. For that, she—and her family—should get some credit. After all, not everyone with a famous sex tape is still relevant—right, Paris?—but c’mon! She makes it sound like she spent years working three jobs; foregoing vacations, new clothes, and sometimes dinner in order to save money; walking uphill to school, in the snow, every day for years; and investing countless amounts of blood, sweat and tears in order to—one day—maybe be successful. False. She had a well-connected dad who, in turn, introduced her to well-connected families.

Let’s be clear: She may’ve worked hard, but people have given her things and to suggest anything less is laughable and offensive to those who really have worked their way up from the bottom. It just goes to show, in case there was ever any doubt, how truly out of touch Kim Kardashian is. Of course, considering this woman is dating Kanye West and buying $150,000 cars, I suppose most of us already knew that.

And it’s probably precisely why people watch her show. 

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Of all the things one could criticize Prince William for—unwillingness to take on royal duties, being spoiled and stubborn, choosing a worthless consort—Justin Bieber chose, wait for it, the prince’s hair (or lack thereof) to attack. The Biebster was recently interviewed by U.K.’s Rollercoaster magazine and said, in reference to prince William’s thinning locks, “I mean, there are things to prevent that nowadays, like Propecia. I don’t know why he doesn’t just get those things, those products. You just take Propecia and your hair grows back. Have you not got it over here?”

Would you take hair advice from this guy?!

I must admit, I, too, have wondered why Prince Baldylocks hasn’t chosen to treat this problem. Sure, it’s superficial, but we live in a superficial world and surely a prince would want to look his best—especially when he has unlimited resources to do so. I mean, obviously his wife has no problem spending the taxpayers' money in abundance to make herself look good(ish). Why can’t the heir as well?

His hair-filled days are obviously numbered.

But, it turns out that little Justin was wrong. According to various health experts, Propecia doesn’t replenish lost hair; it simply prevents continued hair loss. It also apparently prevents procreation, as one of the side effects is a reduced libido. I would imagine that very little could reduce the poor prince’s libido more than his skeletal wife, but if he intends to do his duty of siring an heir and a spare, it’s probably best to stay away from such drugs. Maybe he could get some of that hair in a can instead.

Getting back to the Bieb’s comment, though…

In his defense I can kind of see where he’s coming from. After all, his luscious locks are really all he has going for him. Once he and his fanlets hit puberty, Bieber is assured a one-way ticket to Has-Beenville, so it’s understandable that going bald is such a terrifying concept for him. Plus, he’s proven time and again that he’s not very smart. We should just start expecting this nonsense to spew from his uneducated mouth and save ourselves the time and energy it takes to be offended.   

Now that we’ve cleared that up, and while we’re still on the topic of royals, check out this adorable interview with a very young Charles and Diana, and an even younger William and Harry, looking every bit like a happy family unit. I suppose it just goes to show how deceiving looks can be, as it wasn’t too much later that this “happy family” completely imploded.