An Olympic-Scented Potpourri

In case you haven’t heard, the U.S. kicked some serious international butt in the swimming pool this week. One of the butt-kickers was none other than the adorable Nathan Adrian, who won gold in the 100-meter freestyle. And, the best news of all (for him) is that he didn’t even have a wardrobe malfunction, something he’s had problems with in the past (check out the guy in the middle with the white cap). Of course, my love for his face was tempered quite a bit when I realized that he reminded me of my brother. That just ain’t right.

Nathan Adrian, my brother from another mother

Oh well. It never would’ve worked anyway. He’s barely out of utero.

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In case you haven’t heard, the Olympics are in London this year, which means a fair amount of royal-family coverage (although, let’s be honest, the press doesn’t really need a reason to plaster pictures of Waity—or (not-so) Weighty—Katie all over the universe). I don’t particularly care about a large percentage of the royals, but we can never get enough Sweet Ginger Prince pics here at ATG. How can you not love this guy?

Thumbs up, buttercup!

Prince Fabulous, in the flesh

If loving him is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.

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In case you haven’t heard, the international gymnastic powers-that-be are doing everything they can to ruin the sport. First, they did away with the rule that the top 25 gymnasts go to the all-around competition—regardless of country—and instead, wanting to spread the wealth, now send the top two from each country—regardless of skill level. Sure, makes (absolutely no) sense. But their truly moronic tie-breaking rule tops even that.

Let me set the stage: American Gabby Douglas won gold in the women’s all-around (Go, Gabby!), which I have no beef with. 

Don't let the sweet smile fool you; Gabby Douglas is hardcore.

But, the other American competing in the all-around, Aly Raisman, tied Russian diva, Aliya Mustafina, for the bronze. Unlike swimming, however, both athletes are not awarded a medal in the event of a tie. No, that would make too much sense.

You see, in women’s gymnastics, the athletes compete in four different events or rotations: vault, balance beam, uneven bars, and floor exercise. And the new rule says that, in the event of a tie, the judges should add the scores from the athlete’s top three events--which is essentially the same as dropping her lowest score from the fourth event--and whoever has the best score after that, wins. It sounds fair enough until you break it down. The ladies both had a total all-around score of 59.566 for their four events, with both their lowest scores coming on balance beam: 14.200 for Raisman and 13.66 for Mustafina (which reflected a fall off the beam).  

America's Raisman (L) and Russia's Mustafina (R)

So far so good?

Here’s the problem (and stick with me because it could get messy): Subtracting a smaller number (a worse score) from the total all-around score gives you a larger remainder (i.e. a higher final score). This means that because Raisman scored higher on beam, a 14.200, subtracting her score gives her a lower overall score than Mustafina, who only scored a 13.66. (Bet you weren’t bargaining for all this ATG math.)

It looks like this:

Raisman: 59.566 (overall score) – 14.200 (beam score) = 45.366 (new overall score)

Mustafina: 59.566 (overall score) – 13.66 (beam score) = 45.906 (new overall score)

Therefore, because Mustafina’s worst event scored lower than Raisman’s, she ended up with a higher overall score and, consequently, the bronze medal. If I’m missing something here, please let me know, because at this point I can’t see any logic in the tie-breaker system. I mean, in what universe does it make sense to reward the person with the lower score by giving her a medal?

Apparently, in the gymnastics universe, and that just ain’t right.

Say What?!

Few would argue that 2008 was Michael Phelps’s Olympics. He won eight gold medals—setting an Olympic record—and became America’s most celebrated swimmer since Flipper.  

The Phelpster with one of his latest medals.

You may be surprised to learn, then, that there were actually other swimmers representing the United States in Beijing. Shocking, I know, but plenty of Americans were swimming out their Olympic dreams that year, and it’s my belief that they should’ve gotten some publicity as well. That’s why it was so refreshing to see that, this year, other swimmers are getting (almost) as much attention. I was especially glad to see Ryan Lochte at the head of the press pack, seeing as how his dad coached my friend’s cousins, so I basically know him (six degrees and everything. It totally counts).

Unfortunately, my happiness was short-lived (story of my life) when I made the mistake of watching Ryan in an interview. Let’s just say that he should probably stick to swimming and print ads. And after reading an interview his mom gave recently, it’s fairly clear that foot-in-mouth disease runs in the family. 

The heartthrob and his loose-lipped mom

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I was horrified when I first read Ike Lochte’s quote that Ryan, “goes out on one-night stands,” a revelation that seemed to indicate that Ms. Lochte had taken a page out of Kris Jenner’s favorite book: The Idiot’s Guide to Being a Terrible Parent. However, on closer inspection, I think perhaps she just misspoke. After all, she followed up by saying that “He's not able to give fully to a relationship because he's always on the go.” So, I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that what she meant to say was that her son is too busy to date anyone seriously. It’s not that he has one-night stands, but one-night—or one-time—dates. Meaning, he’s too busy for a relationship, so he just dates casually. Now, whether or not those dates end in one-night stands, I couldn’t say.

And I sincerely hope his mother can’t either.

Smells Like Team Spirit

I’ve always loved the summer Olympics: diving, rowing, volleyball, gymnastics, you name it (and it doesn’t hurt that this year they’re in London). But did you know that there are some far more obscure events as well? For instance, did you know that the U.S. has a badminton team? Which begs the question, are there badminton leagues?  Seriously, how do you qualify for the Olympic badminton team?

What I’ve come to enjoy the most, however, is swimming. Perhaps it’s because it’s an event that the Americans seem fairly capable of medaling in and the risk of injury is rather slim—unlike gymnastics and diving. It’s because of my love for the American swim team that I wanted to share this video with you (and because NBC continues to suck at life, I can't imbed the video in this blog; you have to click the link. Boo, NBC). I don’t know about you, but I enjoy seeing a little spunk in my Olympians. And seeing as how the International Olympic Committee wants to eliminate every single drop of personality from our ladies and gents, it’s nice to see that the athletes are actually enjoying themselves and aren’t just a bunch of robots—until they hit the pool.

The U. S. Olympic swim team (2012). Who knew there were so many of them?