They Laugh Alike. They Walk Alike. At Times They Even Talk Alike.

Caution: You could lose your mind.

Again.

Well, here we go again. Another side-by-side comparison. Many of which, admittedly, fall short. I don’t know why that happens. Somehow the ideas in my head just don’t translate well into reality.

Story of my life.

But, seeing as how I’ve never been one to let my personal reality be derailed by facts, here’s the latest addition to my “separated at birth” collection.

 American Pie's Chris Klein (L) and Glee's Cory Monteith (R) 

 

That’s right. If the Glee star ever gets sick, Klein can step in and no one would be the wiser. You may be questioning how this is possible. After all, Glee is, for all intents and purposes, a musical—complete with spontaneous bursting into song and chasseing in unison down the hallway—and Chris isn’t really known for his singing abilities. But, in all fairness, neither is Cory. And truly, in this age of Auto-Tune, musicality isn’t exactly a prerequisite for a vocal career—proven time and again by the Housewives and their “singing” “careers.”

However, lack of singing talent is not where the similarities end. Oh, no. They have also both shown severe lacks of judgment: Monteith in his choice of girlfriend (the unparalleled irritant, Lea Michele) and Klein in this 2005 Elle interview. Although, in Klein’s defense (I can’t defend Monteith’s poor decision-making), I have to question if this was a serious interview or if it was done tongue-in-cheek. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are countless Hollywood “stars” who truly are that arrogant; I just can’t imagine that they’d be so vocal about it. If he was really that big of a jackass, I think he’d want to hide it. At least a little.

But, perhaps I’m just too biased to look at this objectively. In fact, if I was a judge I’d probably have to recuse myself from this case. For, you see, despite his inability to act, I’ve loved Chris Klein for a long time. Years, actually. Dating back to a much more innocent time when the ATG girls concocted a plan that may or may  not have involved hitting the Kleinster with a car—not to kill, just to stun—and kidnapping him. (See what I mean about stories in my head vs. reality?) And, more recently, he found himself starring alongside a member of my family, in a movie I’m fairly certain you’ve never heard of. So, you see, I can’t really be fair.

However, I am unbiased enough to recognize that CK’s taste in women isn’t much better than his twinlette. I mean, let’s not forget that he was almost Mr. Katie Holmes (before that honor went to the equally as unbalanced, Tom Cruise). This says to me that Mr. Klein likes plain girls with no personality.

And if he’s looking for plain and boring, it’s painfully obvious that the ATG gals never stood a chance.