A Judgment-Scented Potpourri

In case you haven’t heard, sometimes fact really is stranger than fiction. Just ask Halle Berry, Gabriel Aubry and Olivier Martinez. Actually, the story starts out fairly normally: Boy meets girl nine years his senior. They live in sin. She gets pregnant. They break up. Girl starts dating a French boy and tries to take her baby to France. A judge says no way, José (or, perhaps more appropriately, no way, René). Old boy and new boy get in a fistfight on the Day of Giving Thanks. Restraining orders are filed on both sides.

It’s an age-old story, really, one that we’ve all heard a thousand times. Here’s where it gets weird. And for this, you’ll need visuals.

Here’s a pic of the old boy, Aubry, after the incident:

And here’s a picture of the new boy, Martinez, a few days later. By the way, he’s on his way to the doctor. For an injured hand.

One of these guys was arrested and charged with assault. Can you guess which one? I’ll give you a hint: It’s not the guy with the suspiciously injured hand.

Weird.

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In case you haven’t heard, it’s a girl! For Corey and Topanga. Remember them? On Boy Meets World? Who didn’t love that show? TGIF rocked my world. It was a sad, sad day when the kids from John Adams High graduated from college and moved to NYC, leaving us at home to wonder where their lives would take them. But now we know. Apparently their lives took them to the bedroom, where they made a baby girl. And now she’s 13 and about to make her television debut. Yep, you read that right: Corey and Topanga are returning to a TV near you! Girl Meets World (not the most original title, I’ll give you that) will feature the Matthews family as they navigate life with a teenager. (Are we all old enough to have teenagers?!) 

Boy Meets World cast, making room for baby!

No word yet on whether Shawn, Eric, Jack, or Mr. Feeny will be making an appearance, but I’m pretty sure that if we all get out our Treasure Trolls and rub their jeweled stomachs REALLY hard, we can make it happen. You just have to believe!

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In case you haven’t heard, sometimes people really do bite the hand that feeds them. The latest jaw cruncher is Angus T. Jones of Two and a Half Men. In case the name isn’t ringing any bells, he plays the “half,” Jake. He also reportedly makes $300,000 PER EPISODE. But apparently he’s no longer happy with this arrangement, recently referring to the show as “filth” and urging people not to watch it. I’m not saying I disagree with him; I’m just saying that this seems like an odd career move (which does lead me to wonder if it's all a publicity stunt). Apparently the verbal diarrhea that Charlie Sheen suffered from was contagious, as it seems to have spread through the cast. Wonder who will catch it next?

  The Two and a Half Men cast better invest in some hand sanitizer and face masks to prevent the verbal diarrhea from spreading any further.    

So, until next time, my friends, don’t forget to stop and smell the judgment.