Anne Has Killed a Dream In Me

Oh, Anne Hathaway.... it's time for us to break up.  I used to looooooove you. The Devil Wears Prada. You.  Meryl.  Sigh.

Now all I think of when I hear your name is screeching in Les Mis.  Turning your nose up at roles that made you famous.  Over acting.  Under eating.  Ugh.

And then there was this hideous outfit.

Too much shoe, not enough panties.

And the unfortunate upskirt.  And after all of this, there was still love.  And perhaps one question:  Anne, why or why didn’t you wear underwear in that dress?  Of all of the dresses where one could and should wear underwear with it should be the dress that looks like two panels of wallpaper with a garbage bag duct taped on as a cape.

And then was the pitchy… intoned talking… I can’t call it singing.  And the press junket for Les Mis where she began campaigning harder than Kate Winslet for a Titanic Oscar.  Here’s just a smattering of annoying sound bytes:

• I don't talk about how I lost the weight because it's really unhealthy.  And there are some people out there that will try anything to lose weight.
• Then she goes on to discuss how she lost the weight- by eating hummus and radishes.
• "I was a witch. I mean, I was dealing with a lot of darkness and I was starving. So I just wasn’t that much fun to be around.” Hathaway continues, “I realized I was being really unfair to my fiance"
• My mom played Fantine and she is my favorite Fantine.  And I am hers.  
• It felt in some way cheap to do the pretty version (of I Had a Dream). 

Oh, honey, PLENTY of people have sung the pretty version of I Had a Dream and delivered a power house emotional performance.  That is the very challenge of musical theater acting.  What you did was screechy intoning and over acting.

But what really did it was the faux-graceful and faux-humble obviously rehearsed acceptance speech she made at the Golden Globes last night:

My favorite line?   How she thanked the Hollywood Foreign Press Association for giving her “this lovely blunt object that I will forever more use as a weapon against self-doubt”.  VOMIT.

And then she went on to say she’s glad she’s getting awards because it puts her earlier roles forever to bed.  Please… could she be any more ungrateful?  The Princess Diaries launched her.  She should still be thanking that casting director for giving her a shot. Anne, you were in a movie with Julie Andrews.  And it was a cute movie.  And while we are at it, don't dismiss the brilliance of Tina Fey.  You should be so lucky to breathe the air Tina expels from her body.

Oh, and BTW, you have a fierce case of egg head on an emaciated body.  Please.  Eat something.  The Les Mis weight loss on top of the Batman weight loss is just unflattering.

Attack of the life size bobble heads!

Let us hope that the Golden Globe was a consolation prize for her not winning the Oscar.  Because both Sally Field and I were not amused. 

She's got... Dagger Eyes!