The Hills Have Flatlined

There was a time when I really liked Carrie Underwood. There was even a time when I thought she was the best thing to come out of American Idol (besides Simon’s toddler t-shirts and Paula’s crazy, of course).

Then I realized that her voice is really annoying. Like, really.

It seems like with every pound she lost, her voice got harsher and more nasally. I wasn’t thrilled when NBC replaced Faith Hill’s rendition of the Sunday Night Football opener (which was oftentimes the best part of the entire game) with Carrie’s aforementioned nasally harshness, but even that pales in comparison to their most recent brush with stupidity. 

Proving yet again that Hollywood is completely worthless when it comes to generating original ideas, someone at NBC decided that what the world really needed was a regurgitated version of The Sound of Music. Because, you know, when something is done to near perfection the first time, it makes total sense to redo it.

But, wait, it’s okay that they’re going to bastardize this beloved classic because they’ve got a gimmick plan: They’re going to perform it live.

Listen, I get it. Why gamble on a new idea/screenwriter when you can just plagiarize an idea that did well before? It makes total sense. I mean, it doesn’t – at all – but what makes even less sense is replacing the beautiful, talented, kind, lovely, soft, British Julie Andrews with…Carrie Underwood. Carrie may be many of the same things, but her voice is not. I mean, c’mon, even if you’re a Carrie fan, you have to admit that this was poor casting. 

Maria von Crapp

The way NBC gets around this outrageous casting decision – because they know they’ve totally effed this one up – is by saying that they’re not trying to remake the original. I’m sorry, what? Is the story the same? Is the music the same? Then I'd say it's a remake. And you don’t get to redo such a widely known and respected film as The Sound of Music and then say that you’re not trying to remake it.

You are remaking it. That’s the problem. And you’re doing it with Carrie Underwood, who may be terribly talented but is no Maria von Trapp.

So, it’s official. The hills are no longer alive with the sound of music.

Carrie Underwood has killed them.

I give you Exhibit A:   

I rest my case.