There was a Wahlburgers
marathon on today. I’ve made no secret of how much I love those Wahlbergs (especially Donnie), so I was super excited and considered it an early birthday present…until
I realized why there was a Wahlburgers marathon on today.
I have to assume this marathon was in honor of a
soul-crushing event (masquerading as a happy event) that occurred on Sunday:
Donnie Wahlberg got married.
To Jenny McCarthy.
Talk about adding insult to injury.
The duo was wed in St. Charles, Illinois (outside of
Chicago) at the Hotel Baker in front of a fairly small group. Spectators included
Donnie’s brothers Paul and Jim; his mother, Alma, who was reportedly not going
to be there, but, according to reports, decided to brave the flight; his New Kids
bandmates; and Jenny’s former The View cohost,
Sherri Shepherd. Conspicuously absent were Donnie’s brother, Mark and,
to a lesser extent, Jenny’s cousin, Melissa.
A lot has been made of the fact that Mark missed the nuptials, especially after he both tweeted and posted a video congratulating Donnie and Jenny. It seemed a bit “doth protest too much.” Sure, he was missing his brother’s wedding, but he and his family were just SO happy for the couple. And SO sorry that they couldn’t be there. It just couldn’t be helped though, you see. It was Mark’s daughter’s birthday – on Tuesday – and therefore, they couldn’t make the trip.
The fact that rumors have been swirling almost since the
word go that both Mark and his wife, Rhea Durham, are not huge fans of the new
Mrs. Wahlberg, well, I’m sure that had absolutely nothing to do with their
absence.
Look, Jenny McCarthy isn’t a classy lady. I get it. In fact,
she’s quite the opposite. She has no filter and very little decorum. But a man who made a name for himself because he looked good in his panties? Is
this a man who has a moral leg to stand on?
On the other hand, “Marky Mark” seems to have been retired
many years ago. What we see of Mark Wahlberg now is a more mature, responsible,
dedicated family man. Perhaps he expected to see the same personal growth in
his new sister-in-law and perhaps he’s disappointed not to have seen any personal growth in his sister-in-law
– except in the chestal area, of course.
Sure, it’s not Mark who’s pledged his life (and paycheck) to
Jenny, but the Wahlbergs seem like a close-knit family. Now that Donnie and
Jenny are legit, I assume she will be a staple around the Wahlberg family table.
Holidays, birthdays, baptisms, paroles, she’ll be there to celebrate all of it.
And a little Jenny goes a long way (something that the producers at The View learned the hard way).
Another family that is allegedly going through these very
same thought processes, but with perhaps a different conclusion, is Chelsy Davy’s
family. Remember Chelsy? She is believed by many to be Prince Harry’s “one that
got away.” The two dated on and off for six years before “officially” breaking
it off in 2010. I say “officially” because I, for one, believe that Chelsy will
always be the Camilla to Harry’s Charles; that is, they can’t quit each other.
 |
| Chelsy and Charlie. I like the alliteration if nothing else. |
Anyway, word on the street is that Chelsy’s jeweler boyfriend,
Charles Goode proposed last week while the two were on holiday in Africa. To my
knowledge, no official announcement has been made yet, but “sources close to
the couple” say it could come any minute. Stay tuned.
Someone who I’m sure is quite relieved by the news that
Chelsy may soon be officially off the market, is Harry’s latest (rumored) girlfriend, Camilla Thurlow, who he
apparently treated to a St. Tropez holiday last week. The fact that Harry took
Camilla on this romantic jaunt is causing people to hail her as “The One.” There
was a time when hearing that Harry had found “The One” used to be enough to
send me into a full-on panic, but I’m much more mature now; besides, how many “The
Ones” has Harry reportedly found over the years? So I’m taking a wait and see
approach. Sure, rumors continue to swirl that Harry is ready to settle down and
the fact that he turns 30 in a couple of weeks has only heightened the
frenzy.
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| Are you as shocked as I am that he's strayed from his blonde ambitions? |
But surely a “serious” Harry would be looking for more in a wife than a 20-something former beauty queen with nice teeth, right? On the other hand, if the Deficient Duchess could con a prince into thinking she was royal material, I guess anyone can.
And just like that, I think I’m starting to feel the
beginnings of a panic attack…
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