Offending the Colonies

I know the royal visit was forever ago but the passing of time has never stopped me from being heated about something.  And dear readers, if I can't get over the past offenses of Waity through venting to you, what do I have?

I'm sure we all remember when Waity and the hubby graced the US (well, not the US, California) with their presence.  As far as I can tell, the main purpose of this visit was to offend the whole of America - especially Texans.  Why, for the love of everything, would they wear cowboy boots and hats in CALIFORNIA???  More specifically, LA???  And why only go to LA?  Is if for Waity to show off how thin she is by comparison?  Yawn.

What the visit did give us is a series of hilarious pictures that I will turn into a comic strip.  This is done through my magic abilities to read the hearts and minds of the annoying through Paparazzi pictures.  Its a talent.

Waity:  Hey Willis, one has a great idea!  Let's dress like cowboys in LA!

Willis:  Um, Waity.  I think that may be offensive.  I mean did you do a Google search?

 Waity: One needn't!  One is the Queen of England, um, future Queen.  The colonies are lucky that one is deigning them with one's presence!

Willis:  Um, Waity, I feel self conscious.  And I feel like these pants give me lady hips.

Waity:  Well, they do, sort of.  Use those hips to walk with a swagger.  One believes that one saw a Clint Eastwood move on a transatlantic flight.  One was in business first because one was poor.  One doesn't like to remember those times.

Waity:  WILLIS! One's feet are tired of walking!  Get one a stage coach!

Willis:  Waity,  that really is going too far.  It's highly offens...

Waity:  GET ONE A STAGECOACH NOW!!!

Waity:  Oooooh, Willis!  One sees a colonist with good plugs!  One thinks it is Nicholas Cage.  One demands that you get plugs now.

 
Willis:  I don't want plugs.  I want to be natural.  It's the British way.  Remain quiet, deal with your lot in life.

Waity:  One has already made an appointment.  One cannot be buying you hats to wear everyday.  One has food not to eat and clothes to buy for one's self.

Willis:  I'm just going to stand over here and pretend I'm the Malboro Man.  He wouldn't get plugs if his wife demanded he did.

Waity:  Ooooh!  One is glad you are getting into this!  One feels like Debra Winger in Urban Cowboy.  One loves one's life!