Saturday, July 27, 2013

You Bob for Apples in the Toilet…and You Like It.

It was the movie that defined our generation.

Well, kind of.

While The Sandlot may not have technically defined our generation, it did give us plenty of memorable characters – Squints, Smalls, Wendy Peffercorn, Benny *sigh* – and quotes.

Ah, the quotes. Dare I say that this is one of the most quotable films of all-time? So quotable, that when watching it, I instantly turn into one of those annoying people who recites the dialogue along with the actors on-screen. In fact, let me take this opportunity to apologize to anyone who’s ever had the misfortune of watching this film with me. In my defense, I wasn’t trying to be irritating (for a change); it was just that the movie has so many darn good lines! They demand to be parroted.

Anyway, there’s a nasty rumor circulating that The Sandlot is celebrating its 20th anniversary this year. Obviously this is impossible because that would make me very, very old.

What is true is that some of the actors have been participating in what’s being called an “anniversary tour”, but it must be in celebration of the 5th, maybe 10th, anniversary. Twenty is simply out of the question. 

Back in the day

It was while out celebrating the film’s ambiguous anniversary, that some of the cast ended up back at the Utah sandlot where the film was shot. Unfortunately, however, not all the boys could make it.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but, sadly, Benny was one who didn’t make the trip. It seems that he’s traded in his PF Flyers for fire boots and now spends his time fighting fires in California. Also not there, were Smalls (how many of you just went, “You’re killing me, Smalls!”?) and, my personal favorite, Wil Horneff, who played the leader of the enemy baseball team.

But before you feed yourself to the Beast in despair over the missing boys, feast your eyes on The Sandlot alum who did bother to show up. 

Ah, how time flies. Can you guess who's who? (Answers below.)

Some look exactly the same and some look, well, terrifying. (I’m looking at you, Yeah-Yeah. Looks like someone may’ve been injecting himself with a substance that rhymes with pearmoids.)

It’s fun to see the little guys all grown up, but to me they’ll always be that group of kids who tricked a lifeguard and foiled a beast all those years ago. The problem is, every time I watch the movie, I revert to that middle school girl who had a bit of a crush on one or two of them. I get older, but they stay cute. Do you think this is a problem? Should I be worried?

Is it weird? Gross? Illegal?

Probably (weird, not illegal), but it is what it is. The fact remains that my love for these boys will most likely last until the end of time.

Or, more appropriately, FOR-E-VER.

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