Katemazing

I stumbled across an article today on Yahoo entitled, Everything Amazing Kate Middleton Did in 2013. On the list? Dressing herself (while pregnant, no less) and grocery shopping. Funny how tasks that are accomplished every day by virtually EVERY OTHER PERSON IN THE WORLD become “amazing” feats when completed by the Duchess.

Before I found fame and fortune in the fast-paced and always exciting world of advertising, I spent many years nannying. The way the media deals with Kate is similar to how I used to deal with the children I sat for. When one of them learned to tie her shoes, use the grownup potty, or chew with his mouth closed, we always made a really big deal out of it. These are all pretty amazing accomplishments for children – something to be heralded – but once one passes the age of, I don’t know, four, it stops being amazing and starts being expected. I mean, if I were Kate, I might be slightly insulted that my being able to put clothes on was newsworthy.

  Here's Kate at a friend's wedding on Sunday - not only dressed but ALSO with a hat on. A-MAZING. Why, I do believe this amazing lady has earned herself yet another vacation.     

Other “amazing” things Kate did last year? Renovate her house and give birth. Listen, I’m not saying the act of childbirth isn’t amazing – it is – but it’s not exactly a rare occurrence. Thousands of women do it every day – and no one writes articles about how amazing they are. So on behalf of Yahoo, let me say: If you have given birth, gone grocery shopping, or gotten dressed in your lifetime, you are amazing. And if you’ve done it all in one year?! Well, you’re not only amazing, but also duchess-caliber.

Did I just make your day or what?

And speaking of the child who is mostly heard (of) and not seen, little George’s parents recently released a family photo of the four of them (the fourth being the dog, Lupo) hanging out the window of their aforementioned newly renovated “apartment” in Kensington Palace. I wouldn’t be at all surprised to learn that the release of this picture was to counteract all the negative press the Loathsome Twosome has gotten for a) going on yet another vacation, one that allegedly cost upwards of $10,000, b) leaving their 8-month-old son at home for an entire week while they frolicked in a tropical paradise, and c) allegedly missing said son’s first crawl.

I assume that after that kind of truth bomb marginally negative press, this calculating couple needed to present as a cohesive family unit; to show that their family, especially their baby, is priority number 1.

The happy (and amazing) family

I’m not really buying it, but a lot of folks are. In fact, a lot of folks seem to think that Kate and William deserved – seriously, I saw use of the word deserved – their Maldives vacation. I’m not entirely sure what they’ve done to deserve yet another vacation, particularly when Kate was just on a tropical holiday barely a month before, but I suppose being superior to virtually every other person on the planet is fairly exhausting.

Actually, scratch that. Being superior to virtually every other person on the planet is exhausting.

Believe me. I know.