Attention: Robert Stack

Well, folks, you can add it to the lengthy list of things we’ll most likely never know the answers to – an unsolved mystery, if you will – not unlike: are aliens for real and what did Mickey Rourke do to his face? I’m talking, not about how Kate Middleton somehow captured, not only a prince, but also the world’s unconditional love and adoration (although that, too, is something I’d like the answer to) but, instead, about why she always carries a clutch/purse. What could she possibly need it for? Doesn’t she have “people” to do that for her?

Seriously, I’d really like to know what’s in there. Is it:

Money? Nope. Rumor has it that the royals don’t carry money -- and, despite my greatest efforts, Kate is now a royal -- so, obviously, she does have people to at least take care of that for her.

I.D.? Considering she’s one of the most famous women in the world, not to mention the fact that she’s always accompanied by a prince, I’d say doubtful.

Lady supplies? Again, highly doubtful, as every article has her either pregnant or so skinny that she can’t conceive; either way, it’s unlikely that she’d need any kind of feminine product.

Makeup? Gee, I hope not. If she puts on anymore black eyeliner, she’ll start to look like a cornerback for the 49ers.  

So, if it’s not to carry any of the aforementioned items, then why does she need a purse? Is it to show that she’s just one of us? Just a normal girl who fell (or schemed, depending on who you ask) into this royal life? She is a “commoner,” after all. (I mean, don’t we all come from common, millionaire families?)

If her goal is to appeal to the masses, she needs to try a little harder – at least to appeal to this mass. I personally think she carries a purse so as to better display her ring – a ring that is absolutely proof positive that bigger isn’t always better and that money can’t buy good taste – without looking too obvious. 

 

What ring?

I must say, though, considering she’s right-handed, Waity’s getting quite good at using her left hand for just about everything – waving, gesturing, messing with her hair – so as to best display her ostentatious jewel. Just a friendly reminder, in case we happen to forget, of who she married and the ring he gave her.  

It’s her way of saying, “Hey, I’m just like you…only so much better.”

A smile that says, “You, too, can have it all if you’re willing to waste your ridiculously expensive degree waiting around for a decade for your boyfriend to decide if he wants to marry you.”